


Bendy And The McGuffin

by MagieFish



Series: Hellhole [1]
Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: Gen, Got some bad language, None of the characters real names, Summary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-04-13 18:18:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14118147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagieFish/pseuds/MagieFish
Summary: I’ve made a funny summary of each chapter of Bendy. Hope you enjoy my kind of comedy!





	1. Stuff moves

One day, Blank Slate gets a letter from his old pal Joey Pun. It’s been 30 years since they worked on the Batman and Robin cartoons and he wants him to visit.

The studio is abandoned but Blank Slate continues because he’s a protagonist. He finds a recording from Stereotypical Janitor complaining about a MacGuffin Joey built leaking ink everywhere and that if one more pipe bursts he’s **insert catchphrase here.** Blank discovers a dead Robin and expresses *Gasp* EMOTION!!!! There is something horribly wrong with this world! Blank does a pointless fetch quest to turn on the MacGuffin, as he has nothing better to do. But then everything becomes twice as creepy and he gets a jump scare from Goopy Batman. He runs away and falls down a hole where he’s greeted by A SPOOPAGRAM!!!!                                                                                                                                     

 

Then he has a nap because we have to prolong this game somehow!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the first chapter!  
> 


	2. Ye Olde Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Chapter 2!

Blank Slate wakes to find a convient axe. He uses it to karate chop his way through the studio to a recording from plot device, I MEAN Professional Asshole, who broke up with his girlfriend and became a Christian.

Blank finds the music department, **insert title here** , where he battles The Goopy Goops and finds a poster of Holy Catwoman, the newest edition to the cartoons. Another recording from Proffesional Asshole states that Joey had too many complaints so chucked a switch at Asshole to make one more. There’s also two new characters! Mary-Sue And Paranorman. Mary-Sue says that she’s voicing Holy Catwoman who is definitely going to be popular, is not going to ruin her life and will absolutely be beautiful in real life. Paranorman disscusses Asshole’s weird behaviour like *Dramatic music* RUNNING!!! Scandalous! Oh, and Stereotypical Janitor’s there too. But who cares about him? *Checks the internet* Apparently a lot of people.

Blank Slate finds some keys, drops some sick beats and spins some valves. You go down to the sewers to get one of said valves (Oh look, a spoopy sillouhette). But Jack Attack has it and you have to get it back. His recording talks about how he came up with songs in the sewers, because he has no life.

And then you squash him with a box.

Brutal.

He fights off another swarm of Goopy Goops only to be knocked out. He wakes up to see Christian Asshole who tries to sacrifice him to Goopy Batman and fails miserably. He has a brief encounter with the Dark Knight and runs into *Gasp* Robin? 

And the chapter ends because cliff hanger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be longer. Promise.


	3. Date and troll.

Blank Slate wakes up in Robin’s house where he has to make some tasty soup (which Robin immediately ignores). He earns the lever and begins his epic journey through the realm of Heavenly Trash! Robin immediately abandons you but somehow manages to become on of the most popular characters in the fandom, because now all you need to be a fan favourite is to be cute. Remember a time when character actually mattered and people didn’t just see everything as a sex toy? Wait, no, that was before the internet so no one would remember!

Oh, there’s also this one corridor that was from the trailer and has recording in it. Tom Tom is trying to teach Stereotypical Janitor basic stuff but he’s all like ‘This is too difficult!’. I have a feeling that it didn’t end well for either of them.

Eventually there’s a two way path. One way is Teenager issues and the other is Satan! You have 5 seconds to choose! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! If you chose Satan, then you made the right choice!! Because on the other way, Mary Sue is crying like a bitch because she was replaced by Better Person. But because she’s a drama queen she sees Professional Asshole doing his job as him cheating on her. *Slow clap*. If you go the Satan route you find a recording from Joey Pun, who rants about how belief can do anything! Yeesh, he sounds like my primary school teacher. YEAH I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU MISS DAVIS!!! I STILL HAVE THAT STUPID VALUES SONG IN MY HEAD!!! Stupid Davis with all her common human decency...

Along the way they find a recording from Jackaboy who is complaining about how Joey keeps screaming BUY OUR MERCHANDISE and him yelling about Jack making a mistake on a toy. I mean, I know Joey’s a jerk but Jack you’re a toy maker! It’s your job to get these things right! And when the studios going through an economic crisis you gotta play your part in keeping it on its feet. Anyway, enough lecturing because now Blank has entered the world of online dating. He gets matched with Holy Catwoman and finds out she’s about as attractive as a piece of shit (which she is). He gets reunited with Robin who continues to stand by and watch while Blank Slate is attacked by the man of the wall, Donald Trump. 

He manages to get to the date venue where Robin finds out he’s a clone. HA!!! Karma!! See, you get identity crises for doing nothing!!! That’s what you get boy!!! THATS WHAT YOU GET!!! Turns out the person who did this is our date, Bratty Teenager. She has insecurity and mood swings and wants to be rid of her horrible case of acne. But this ain’t no high school musical, oh no kids, this is The Purge!! And to release all that violent emotion she tortures you with the bane of all gamers *GASP!* FETCH QUESTS!!!

There are 2 more recordings from these guys called Tom Tom and DAGames. Tom Tom says that the elevator is an absolute troll because it doesn’t do what people want, and DAGames is annoyed that Joey keeps on spending on random stuff and harassing him about making that Bendy Chapter 3 Song. 

Along the way we encounter various monsters! Gloopy gloops Evolution, Swollen Goopy Goop! You can also pull some levers to summon Goopy Goops final evolution, Miniboss Goopy Goop, And his mega evolution, Boss Goopy Goop!! You can only really defeat them with a Tommy Gun, but Bratty Teen ain’t letting you get it anytime soon. Alongside Donald Trump is the rest of The Pointless Gang, Drunk Old Sailor And SPIDER-MAN!!!!! Your eventually sent down to Level **insert random number here** where Netflix lurks. You can either kill him or spare him meaning that he plays no role in future Chapters! Sorry Paranorman, looks like your character arc is over. But hey, you still have the Sammy/Projectionist fanfics!

Wait.........

You go back to the elevator where you begin to ascend. But the it turns out that Bratty tricked you and only wanted to get her hands on Robin. Wait, he still exists? The elevator plummets to its doom and Bratty snatches Robin up. Oh no, he was such and important character!, She said, dripping with sarcasm. 

Blank Slate has a nap for the 50th time and the Chapter ends. Well, time to go wait for that sweet sweet DAGames music! *Begins to walk off* *Head leans backwards to examine YouTube thumbnail* 

SAMMY LIVES!!!! Secret recording found!

So....it begins.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though Robin did nothing, it is still one of our main goals to rescue him. Please be alive Robin! You did so much! Like.....create ships like BorisXBendy?.....Yeah I’ve got nothing.  
> Only thing I’m looking forward to is the obvious main focus of Chapter 4. SAMMY MY BOY!!! WOOOOOOO!!!! HE LIVES!!!! *Does a victory dance on table* *Sister walks into room*  
> You do realise they could really kill him off in Chapter 4.  
> *Stops dancing* *Sister leaves room with troll face* *Single tear rolls down cheek*


	4. Colossal WTFs?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good to know that I got everything wrong.
> 
> *Weeps in a corner*
> 
>  
> 
> Why do all my favourite characters die?!

Blank Slate wakes up to find that Robin is gone! So he sets off on the fetch quest of the chapter, too stupid to realise that it will never be completed. He listens to a recording of DAGames having a seizure. See guys, this is what happens when you harass people for songs!!! They mutate into a horrifying ink monster!!!! Congratulations!!!! Jesus, when these people learn......         He then finds a twisty thing to enter the library, where he has to be the librarian. But out of nowhere come THE SPOOPS which blow blows stuff around and slams doors. After using a 3D Printer and getting a pointless jumpscare he enters a corridor to have more SPOOPS happen. This one school kid asks when he can go to home and the rest stand around or cry. Look, I know GCSEs are stressful but doesn’t mean you can just give up! 

He crawls through the vents, Goopy Batman shows up and he finds some exposition! It’s from this guy called Bertrum Pied- *Gravity Falls fan peeks into room* Bertrum. Just Bertrum. Anyway, he’s mad that Joey Pun called him Bertie and wants to make a park filled with **insert title here.** Dude, just give up. No one will ever beat Disney Land. I mean, it’s actually awful, but to beat it would mean yours would be awful. And you don’t want that. Do you? Also, your motive is being called Bertie? I’m called **nickname that sounds like my name** all the time! Geez, grow up.

There’s another recording from Stereotypical Janitor who was tried of cleaning up after the incompetent Storage 9 So told the, to rig the games to open up the back door. He also states that ‘If people don’t start recognising who the real genius is, I’m outta here!’ (I’m not the only one who finds that sinister right?). So you play some games and distract the Avengers with Infinity Stones. You find yet another recording from.....Stacie Fenton.....Laura Burden.....whatever her name is, complaining about how everyone else is stupid and how the animatronic *cough cough* FNAF *cough cough* moves. 

Blank fights Egotistical Merrygoround and once again encounters Netflix. Wait, so let me get this straight. You have encountered everyone you have met.....except Sammy. The one person EVERYONE WAS EXPECTING *Smashes a table* Anyway, Netflix has a boxing match with Goopy Batman and actually dies. Blank Slate rides a SPOOPY rollercoaster and gets attacked by Beefy Robin. Oh no, our incredibly valuable friend is dead and buff. You have a BOSS BATTLE and defeat him with a pipe wrench or plunger. By that logic you could’ve just picked up Donald Trump and thrown him at Beefy Robin to win. Bratty Teen tries to kill you but-

‘FROM EXHARTH I STABBETH THEE’ cries Better Angel as she stabs Bratty Teen through the chest. And then the Chapter ends because, once again, cliffhanger.

Oh, and there’s also Robin 2.0 but he’s useless as ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, this is way more popular than it should be!
> 
> 12 Kudos!? 12!? How is that even possible!?


	5. The Last MacGuffin

So Blank Slate’s trapped in a cage with Better Angel and Boris 2.0 a watching him. Better Angel spouts exposition at every given opportunity while Boris 2.0 just sits in the corner making death threats. Eventually 2.0 does a frig up, what else did we expect from him, and Goopy Batman is a coming for their souls, so they leave Blank Slate for death. But wait! There is...A SPOON!!! So he does all of that useless crap and leaves, encounters some weird Handy Hand monster and reaches a poor excuse for a village. And then, GUESS WHO SHOWS UP!!!??? 

MY SMAY BOI, ROLLING INTO THE STATION, only to be killed immediately afterward.....

Oh.....

AND IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT BORIS 2.0, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING DI-

We then have to battle some College Students who want to take our their loans on us. Hey look, it’s not out fault you racked up debt, alright?! We kill them off in a bloody massacre and Blank Slate FALLS DOWN A HOLE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!????? Anyway, he goes through a needlessly complicated maze, avoiding the Pointless Gang along the way. He finds some recordings from Joey Pun, Stereotypical Janitor and Tom Tom. Tom Tom talks about how the first Batman copy was just the tiniest bit shady. Stereotypical Janitor eats a cake that has no implication on the plot because he’s a greedy loser. Joey Pun has 2, because he’s special. The first is all like ‘So you say they’re soulless? Well guess what? _I own thousands of souls.’_

Jeez Pun, tone it down on the whole satanism thing.

Anyway, the next one is him actually buying Mary-Sue’s soul so, y’know, guess he was right on that last point. We reunite with Better and 2.0 only to immediately abandon them to walk straight into the jaws of death. We find this really neat throne I wish I could buy to intimidate my enemies and gain the key to defeating Goopy Batman the **Insert MacGuffin title here.** But unfortunately he shows up and evolves into *Inhales* SUPER ULTRA BEHEMOTH GIGANTIC NEO POWER SPOOPY BATMAN!!!!

God, that was a mouthful. So we move on to a boss fight which includes using a MacGuffin that had practically no use for the entire chapter to dodge SUBGNPS Batman’s dumb charging attacks. A bit underwhelming, but ok. We shove that MacGuffin into it’s designated spot, almost get killed by SUBGNPS Batman, and then the words ‘the end’ appear on the screens and he slowly withers away and there’s really bright light and BOOM!!!!! 

We’re in an apartment!! And then we meet an elderly Joey Drew? And Janitor has grandkids? And Better Persom and Tom Tom got married? And the whole game starts again-Is this the right script? It is? But none of this makes any sense, I mean, Tom and Better literally show up as cartoons in game how could they have gotten married? And the game repeats and...*Sigh*

I give up.

 

 


End file.
